I've wanted to be a teacher for as long as I can remember, so I was thrilled when I was hired to be a 10th grade English teacher straight out of college. I spent the summer excited, gathering things for my classroom, moving to a new apartment, adopting a new dog, and starting pretty much a new life. And as soon as August hit, my life was school. As a first year teacher, I am starting everything I teach from scratch. School nights are spent planning, hours of my weekend are spent planning, and there just isn't enough time to read as much as I used to. And it makes want to cry.
I try so hard to find time to read. I used to read a book every two days, but now, I get through maybe 20 pages a day if I'm lucky. Is this what's it like for normal people? Well, it sucks. I miss when I could spend hours reading at night without falling asleep two pages in…
I know there are people out there who don't understand how teachers can have the summer off and still get paid all year round. But during the school year, I'm working an 8 hour day and then working 2-3 more hours that night and at least 4-5 more hours on the weekend. I can't just show up to work. I plan, I stress, and I plan some more.
Now don't get me wrong, I love my job. I love coming up with new, fun ways to teach literature and writing to my students. I love seeing how they think and what they come up with that I would have never thought of myself. But it's a hard job. And it definitely takes time.
I'm a reader and I've always been a reader, so it's hard for me to be at a place in my life where I can't read as much as I want to. Right now, I've been reading the same book since Monday. THAT'S SIX DAYS SPENT ON A 283 PAGE BOOK. This kills me. I see some bloggers and booktubers who are cranking out 15-20 books a month and I get so jealous of them.
And I know that this isn't healthy at all, but I can't help it. My TBR pile keeps getting bigger and bigger while I have less and less time to read and less and less content for my blog. It's frustrating, but I'm at a time in my life where I'm still adjusting and have to put my career before my personal life. Now I know that I read much more than the average person, but as a lifelong bookworm, it's hard to adjust. Because of this, though, I've learned to savor the time I do have to read and truly pick out books I really want to read instead of the books I have to read. And this has definitely changed my reading life for the better.
Sorry for this long, rambly post, but I just wanted to get this all out there and see how everyone else balances life and reading. I didn't realize how fortunate I was as a student to have so much reading time. Now that I have a job, responsibilities, bills to pay, and a dog, reading has become a precious experience for me that I can't take for granted any more. I've learned to appreciate a really good book so much more and understand that the amount of books I read doesn't define me as a reader. I'm a proud bookworm no matter how many books I read. Do I still get jealous of people who get to read more than me? Yes. Would I like life more if I could read more? Of course. But that's not the way life works, so I just have to read what I can and enjoy the other aspects of my life. Because it's a pretty darn good life and I couldn't be more grateful.